


(never will) be mine

by alanryves



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alanryves/pseuds/alanryves
Summary: "I know we made a deal, but I don't know if it can ever stick, pacts with devil don't always have such a great track record, after all."
"But they can't just take her away! I mean, they can't, can they?"
"Oh, I don't know. I'm supposed to know everything here, I designed this place, and yet I know nothing, and more nothing every day. Janet doesn't even know."
"Well, if the pact could be taken back, is there some other way she can be assured to stay?" The next step was before her again, and Tahani moved forward, always moving, before she could second guess herself. She laughed then. "Oh, why, don't you see, Michael? They can't take Eleanor, because she's my soulmate!"
--
Tahani lies and tells Michael that Eleanor is her soulmate -- what could possibly go wrong?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosecake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosecake/gifts).



> I hope you enjoy this! I loved writing Tahani and loved all of your notes and prompts about her, although I fear I didn't fill as many tropes of yours as I had hoped to. Happy holidays! <3

Tahani had never given much thought to soulmates when she was alive. It had seemed, and, indeed, it had proved, impossible for anyone ever to be able to keep up with her, and unfair for herself to be asked to slow down or to ask someone else to burn out. Some had seemed as though they might be able to match her pace, and others certainly put in more effort than others -- she could never look at game of beach volleyball without thinking of Rihanna, despite how poorly that had wound up.

She similarly had not thought she would have to give much thought to soulmates when dead; firstly, because she would never have imagined the Good Place, and her modest mansion, and Jianyu; and secondly, because she would never have imagined that her designated soulmate, matched by unearthly powers, could be wrong.

She had not thought on soulmates, so she could not now explain why she was so devastated.

She could not explain much now, however, so she did not let herself dwell on it. It seemed a waste of her afterlife and all its reward, to feel devastation. So she did not feel devastated, she decided; no, Tahani was determined.

Determined and detailed: yes, that was right. Tahani had always been very detailed in her life plans, and actions, when living, and so she sought to remain the same now, in death. Sure, there were many setbacks to the Good Place, of course there were, but she took those in stride, or so she thought she did -- in stride, and in very fine, exclusive Manolos. If only Gigi Hadid could see her now, why she would. . . Was it passé to joke about dying, now that she was dead? Or just the correct amount of irony? Well, either way, Tahani had nearly everything she could desire at her command, and it did not matter whether Page Six could see her now. Which may have been for the best, after all, for what she was about to do may have resulted in more attention to her own personal life than her causes, a balance she had always sought to keep in careful balance.

She inhaled, letting her shoulders settle back, and lifted her head as she walked across the town's center. A small blonde figure with dark shades sat at the corner table in front of the every flavor froyo shop, though it appeared her cup of frozen yogurt was somehow melting even in what should be a perfectly climate controlled neighborhood, including prevention of frozen food to melt, or hot food to ever burn one's tongue. Tahani let her most dazzling smile settle on her face as she continued walking towards the table.

"There you are, darling!" Tahani greeted Eleanor as she sat in the chair closest to her, leaving the one across from her conspicuously open, or, at least, conspicuous enough, she hoped.

There was no reaction from Eleanor at the table, which Tahani decided not to count as a loss; any cross response from Eleanor, with a very generous definition of "cross," including her just up and leaving, or shouting, or whatever Eleanor things she was prone to doing, would have a very negative effect on Tahani's plan. But no reaction was perfectly fine. She could work with no reaction.

_Determined and detailed_ , Tahani reminded herself. She bit her lip then let her lips fall into a looser version of the smile she had put on before she sat down and reached over for the spoon of Eleanor's froyo. Carefully blocking out the harsh tones of her mother's voice in her head, chiding her on her smile, Tahani closed her eyes as she put the spoon into her mouth, letting her head drop back.

" _Mmmm_." She forced herself to swallow the frozen yogurt, trying to keep as much of it from the surface of her tongue as possible. She was not as successful keeping the mild disgust out of her voice, however. "Is that _Bloody Mary?_ Why, you've barely had a bite, and it's so. . ." Tahani returned the spoon. "Refreshing!"

Eleanor again had no perceivable reaction behind her sunglasses, instead only letting her head drop further back onto the chair's headrest. "It is too hot to move."

"Dearest, it's twenty-two degrees, or seventy-two degrees degrees fahrenheit." Eleanor did not look impressed by her consideration, but Tahani did not let that deter her. "That's hardly balmy. I'd say, with the light breeze rolling through, it's quite nearly perfect." She smiled over at Eleanor, who had since had the grace to at least turn her head over towards her and raise her sunglasses. Tahani had never noticed the lighter ring in her irises -- nearly blue. _Determined_.

"I don't know if I should complain about you knowing that conversion off the top of your head, or about how you won't let me complain about something." Eleanor reached for the spoon without looking and Tahani caught the cup before it tipped over, because of course she couldn't let such a delicacy as _Bloody Mary_ frozen yogurt go to waste. "Why couldn't other Eleanor's perfect world have involved something that she could complain about? What kind of monsters are you people?"

"Oh, love," Tahani laughed again, lightly, a glimmer before she continued to speak. "If all it took was complaining to make you happy. . ." She drifted off then, searching for something charming to toss in, when she noticed a familiar figure approach. Right on schedule, and Tahani permitted herself a moment of pride as she sat up straighter. "Michael! Over here, Michael!" 

She laughed more openly, projecting it over towards Michael, who she noticed making note of her with Eleanor. With that note, Tahani turned more towards Eleanor, careful as always of her posture and leaning closer, rather than slouch. These things mattered, and Tahani would apparently lower herself to Bloody Mary-flavored frozen yogurt from a plastic spoon, but a shrug? It made the Bloody Mary-flavored frozen yogurt in her stomach begin to sit with less comfort.

Eleanor did not appear to be that impressed with Tahani's posture, however. Rather, she looked concerned more than anything, or, well, not concerned, but she shrunk back in her own seat with a look of what Tahani may have labeled as contempt, but chose not to. She did not let contempt nor concern affect her, and only shook her head and then reached over to tuck a strand of Eleanor's hair behind her ear that had fallen loose in her face. Her hair was softer than Tahani would have expected -- not that Eleanor was dirty by any means, but she did not expect her of possessing the strictest of conditioning routines. To stop herself from playing with Eleanor's hair for possibly too long, she released the strand, then traced her fingers down the back of her neck the shortest of seconds, the lightest of touches. It was a good thing she had had the foresight to repaint her nails a deep tangerine -- what Janet had assured Tahani was not overdone yet this season, whatever season it was yet in the world of the living -- and had remembered to spray her wrists with perfume.

The contempt-that-was-not-contempt look on Eleanor's face was becoming less contempt, and more something else, that Tahani now could not name, not for reasons of cognitive dissonance, but for something else, as well. Eleanor looked as if she was about to speak, but before she could begin, a clap interrupted them.

Tahani was not sure what a being looked like upon finishing the creation of an entire world, even an world within a larger, pre-existing cosmology. She couldn't imagine what such a feeling would be like, or how it would be expressed, but she imagined it would be quite similar to Michael's beaming face across from them at the present.

"Did something awful happen?" Eleanor asked.

"What?" Tahani laughed and kept her tone light, then covered Eleanor's hand on the table with her own. "Hello, Michael!"

Michael continued to stand and smile at them, the smile threatening to actually approach overly literal levels of blinding, his hands grasped in front of his chest. Perhaps it was his joy that had caused the weather's uncharacteristic overheating. "I just couldn't believe the good news when Tahani told me!”

Tahani dared not look over at Eleanor and instead kept her gazed fixed on Michael, aiming for a grin to, if not match his own, reflect it. "Oh, I know! Why, it's really quite a relief, is it not?” She squeezed Eleanor’s hand gently, and spoke with added warmth, still not looking to Eleanor. “Well, far greater than a relief!" 

If Michael noticed any consternation or confusion in Eleanor's appearance, he did not seem affected. "If you knew just how worried I've been, well, of course you both know, it effects you nearly as much as it does me! Your eternal rest in the hands of a pact with the devil! I don't know if I myself ever would have rested again, if I actually was a being that needed rest! But now there's no need to stress at all, everyone knows soulmates can't be split up, even those in the Bad Place have to adhere to that rule."

Eleanor seemed finally to have had enough, which Tahani supposed, had only been inevitable. "Soulmates?"

Michael again beamed at the word, and, if Tahani wasn't correct, a rarity, she suspected she saw some tears beginning to form in his eyes. "Oh," he sighed deeply, his hands still clutched at his chest. "I know! Oh, I just can't think of a better way this could have worked out, if I had planned it myself! Which, really, come to think of it, maybe I did. . . . Well, my apologies for interrupting, ladies, and leaving so quickly, but I must be off, there's some error with Janet again. Plus, the party!" He paused, before clapping again. "Ah!"

Tahani took a moment to feel proud of herself. It was important to always take stake of one's accomplishments, so one could properly assess them and consider any possible improvements, before setting out one's future goals. And she was quite certain this would be one of her best accomplishments to date, and surely the one with the most immediately observable effect. After the moment was over, however, she turned once more to Eleanor.

Eleanor stared at her. She then removed her hand from under Tahani's to reach for the cup with the remaining frozen yogurt, now melted, and poured the rest into her mouth, without aid of the spoon.

"How soon is this party, because I think I'm going to need a lot of alcohol for whatever this is."

\--

Tahani had never given much thought to soulmates, until the day she found out that her own soulmate, the person she believed she was made to share her life with, to have perfect happiness with, to be her full self with, no change of pace necessary, was a fraud.

Now, in hindsight, she enjoyed the process of separating her actions into a clear delineation of steps, a well-structured plan, beginning with her, in the room she thought belonged to Jianyu, who she thought she was leaving with a considerate amount of space and, well, consideration, who turned out to belong to a stranger.

She didn't have a plan when she sat there though. She didn't have anything for a few seconds, except a sinking in her stomach. Two of the people closest to her since her arrival had both been mistakes. It wasn't vanity to see a clear denominator between the two individuals: Tahani was in the center. If they were mistakes, well, then, what did that make of her? This was supposed to be paradise, and she was sitting in a room that contained more Cheeto dust per square meter than proper non-plastic seating, and she was as untethered as ever.

No, no, she did not have to accept that. Her sister had been the one without an anchor; Tahani had always been her own center, and this did not change that. When the door opened, and the stranger she thought had been her soulmate appeared, it was only that -- a door opening.

She held the image of the door in her mind and brought it with her when she went to find something in the household to do, and there was always something to do, because the household knew she would always want to find something to do. Tahani was folding linens when the thought came to her.

"Janet?"

Tahani waited, and then waited a few seconds longer -- the malfunctions were something best simply to be accommodated now, rather than fought, hardly a malfunction at all, simply a new normal.

Janet then appeared before her, bright smile and, inexplicably, a daffodil in her hand.

"Janet, what happens if you don't have a soulmate?"

The artificial intelligence frowned then. Tahani couldn't tell if it was from the question, or some fault of Janet's own struggles at re-calibration. She continued to frown, and frown, and frown, and then, still inexplicably, handed the daffodil to Tahani.

"I think you need that more than the ground."

Janet disappeared, leaving Tahani with a daffodil, and a further step to her plan.

(Tahani could imagine Eleanor's grumbling at the end of the exchange, however -- _Would the internet be too much to ask for in the afterlife?_ It was a horrible thing to imagine, however, with Janet there, even if it wasn't her own imaginary self expressing them, and it was far more horrible still, to be amused, even when her own imaginary self would follow the remark with a reproving comment, of course.)

She followed that step to Michael's office, entering without confirming he was free.

"You can't be in here!" a voice shouted from under the desk.

Tahani hesitated a moment, before walking around the desk. "Michael! What are you doing down there?"

He grumbled some response she could not make out. "Never mind, but you really must get out from under there."

Appearing to gather his strength, Michael stood up long enough to manage to sink into his desk chair. "I suppose it's fitting you're visiting me now. I wasn't sure how to tell you this, or if I should. . . ."

Panic set in briefly, which was not part of the plan. Did he know about Jason? Or that she knew? That she knew and hadn't come forward and that was obviously proof that she was also a mistake? Tahani tried to keep her expression smooth, a veneer, even as she felt that she was moments away from cracking.

"Is this about me and Ja -- Jianyu?" She forced as much calmness into her voice as possible.

"What?" Michael met her gaze and looked even more frayed than when he had gotten out from under the desk. "Are you having problems? I was only going to bring up Eleanor, of course."

"Eleanor, of course." Tahani felt relief, before a new crack began. "Wait, what about Eleanor?"

"I know we made a deal, but I don't know if it can ever stick, pacts with devil don't always have such a great track record, after all." 

"But they can't just take her away! I mean, they can't, can they?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm supposed to know everything here, I designed this place, and yet I know nothing, and more nothing every day. Janet doesn't even know."

"Well, if the pact could be taken back, is there some other way she can be assured to stay?" The next step was before her again, and Tahani moved forward, always moving, before she could second guess herself. She laughed then. "Oh, why, don't you see, Michael? They can't take Eleanor, because she's my soulmate!"

And it seemed simple, then: they couldn't split up soulmates. They couldn't, that was one of the few simple, accepted facts of both places. And it would be simple, smooth, seamless, as long as Tahani could be sure Eleanor would not kill her.

\--

"I'm going to kill you."

"Relax, Eleanor, I made sure there would be those shrimp you're so fond of. And I can tell you've already found your way to the champagne fountain in the back, so I hardly see what the big deal is."

Even as Tahani said the words, she didn't manage to really persuade herself, and wasn't surprised to see they weren't really working on Eleanor either.

"Honestly, Eleanor, you're worse than Beyonce was before her wedding, the number of favors I had to perform to pull of that day. . . ." Eleanor's expression changed from gloomy to a look that betrayed interest.

"Okay, now you're just shutting me." More mirth appeared in her eyes. "Wait, does that make you guilty then for him cheating on her? Can't have been all that good of an act if he cheated on her! You indirectly made Beyonce unhappy, how am I supposed to be worse than you?"

Tahani felt the feeling that had been rising in her chest again lately, ever since she found out about Eleanor and then not-Jianyu, a feeling she hadn't felt since her arrival at the Good Place. She took a sip from her own champagne flute before she responded to Eleanor. "I have always found Ms. Knowles's faith and belief in love to be inspirational, if not necessarily personally aspirational." She drained her own flute then grabbed for Eleanor's and set them both down on a passing tray. "Now, come on. It's your future at stake here. Just pretend it's like any other of those nights when you would go out with your acquaintances you didn't like and lie to them, saying you'd cover next round then ducking out before hand, or whatever."

A potentially low blow, but necessary, Tahani justified. Eleanor was usually best motivated when she had something to prove, something to do _against_. If that had to be Tahani tonight, well. It was difficult to determine, though, if Eleanor took the comment or the loss of champagne harder. Regardless, whichever it was, she turned around, back towards the door that led to the back garden patio, where Tahani had selected as the event’s setting, their wedding shower of sorts. Soulmate shower, she supposed.

Tahani had picked out their outfits, a coordinating print and color design that did not look _too_ coordinated; her full skirt a shade of midnight with a silver overlay shimmer of tulle that complemented the hue of Eleanor's own tighter, shorter dress, in tones of silver and grey that matched her eyes.

The party had come together almost too easily. They had set the date for a week after Tahani met with Michael, giving ample time to work around any disaster that may befall them, as disasters seemed wont to do, but none came. Well, no disasters in the neighborhood at large, at least. There were no disasters in the planning, either -- Tahani had decided on color schemes and catering displays, music choice and setting, effortlessly; the details had been finished arranging within twenty-four hours of the announcement. This was not, however, to say that there were no disasters of any sort, with the plans. It wouldn't be Eleanor, and Eleanor and her, if there wasn't something, she supposed.

Well, upon reflection, Eleanor's immediate impulse decision to ignore Tahani and shut her out, had likely contributed to Tahani's ease of party arrangements. Funny how things worked out like that. The silent treatment had not held out forever, though, due to an intervention by Chidi and the false promise of some chips that were just flavored "Hot" -- desperate times, and all.

Eleanor waited for her at the door, although she did not say so nor did her posture indicate any such desire to be near Tahani, except when Tahani walked up next to her Eleanor slinked an arm around her waist, fingers finding the gap between her skirt and the cropped silk top.

"Happy week-a-versary, soulmate," she spoke in her usual light deadpan, opening the door for Tahani and leading her out, even though Tahani still had quite a few inches on Eleanor, despite Eleanor's heels.

Tahani did not have time to respond before they had found themselves in the throes of the party, a gleaming smile on her face, and a look on Eleanor's which she guessed was her version of a put-upon gleam.

A week as pretend soulmates, and nobody had died yet, or been cast out of the Good Place irrevocably. Small victories.

\--

The victory did not last long.

The party's aesthetic had been perfectly executed -- she had gone for an evening garden party, nice, simple, which is to say, not simple at all and full of many elaborate extravagances, only slightly more subtle in their extravagance. One could not miss that one was surrounded by opulence (of course not, with her mansion as backdrop), but it held a warmth to it, _rich_ instead of merely decadent. Tahani supposed, it was what having a real soulmate must feel like.

Chidi was babysitting Jason, as had been agreed, although now Tahani was beginning to wonder if they would have been better off having him watch over Eleanor, who she suspected had been feeling rather generous with the champagne fountain. She also suspected the champagne fountain may have been a touch too _decadent_ , rather than _rich_.

Chidi may have had his doubts about the plot, which was to say, he had laughed to the point of tears when Eleanor and Tahani had returned to Eleanor's clown house and found him there, waiting with whatever lesson plan he had, and Eleanor announced they were soulmates. He stopped laughing, however, when Tahani explained the severity of the situation, and even Eleanor seemed to sober a bit. Well, until they brought out the tequila. Then the tequila had brought them around to ground rules ("More rules? Isn't one set of lessons enough?") and the obvious arrangement that now, with other-Eleanor back, it only made sense for Eleanor to live with Tahani, and that would of course help with public appearance. That particular suggestion may have been an influence of the tequila, but it had been too late to turn back, and it did make sense.

The whole neighborhood had turned out, a relief to Tahani. She hadn't been sure how to explain the situation -- Eleanor and other-Eleanor, Jason-Jianyu -- without inflicting doubts on herself, too. But then the simplest explanation had been fine: bureaucracy. A simple error, ending in true love! Another stroke of brilliance, and a champagne fountain, what more could one ask for?

What one could ask for, was, apparently, a kiss.

It wasn't long until she heard it. Chiming, erupting in one corner of the gathering, then, suddenly, surrounding her.

Her eyes found Eleanor not too far from her, having been in conversation with Michael, but now apparently being pushed by him towards Tahani, who stood nearer what would be the party's center. Shock briefly flashed in Eleanor's eyes at the shove, an expression that was then transfigured into something softer, and Eleanor laughed as she let herself be moved the few feet that now separated her and Tahani. Tahani felt herself sway a bit as Eleanor's weight briefly leaned on her side -- ridiculous, given their relative sizes -- and Eleanor's hand once again found that treacherous gap in her skirt and top.

It was possible Tahani had herself been too generous with the champagne fountain.

"Hello there," Eleanor laughed again, softer, and looked up at Tahani, the closer distance still taking Tahani aback briefly.

The chiming around them got louder -- they should not have had food at all, or flatware, at the least. Did they have no care at all about chipping the fine china? Tahani's thoughts flew around her, but kept coming back to the press of Eleanor's hand at her side, the smell of something floral too, which threatened to make Tahani sway again.

"Alright, soulmate, you ready?"

Tahani was not sure of her answer, but then it did not matter. Eleanor brought her other hand to Tahani's shoulder and drifted up to her hair, her jaw, and rested on her cheek to bring Tahani's face down to her own. The kiss was brief, but Tahani felt the party give away, the only sensations the light touches, but burning, on her cheek, to her hair, and the anchored weight on her side, and then, nothing on either, but the traces still lingering, if lingering could be like poking a sunburn, and the imprint remaining after.

The cheering of the room, and the return of everyone's conversations, now more boisterous, covered Tahani's whisper into the night, a breath. "Oh, fork."

Tahani had not given much thought to her soulmate, when she had been alive. She had not given much thought still, when dead, nor did she think much when she volunteered herself as Eleanor's fake-soulmate. She was then wholly unprepared for this next possibility: that she may be falling in love with her fake-soulmate.


End file.
